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by Sharon M. Robertson
 One of the things that I notice more and more as I continue to walk with the Lord is how often he rescues me from my own “flaws of character.” How grateful I am that he has chosen to exhibit his strengths through my weaknesses. Paul was right on target as he testified that:
…He [the Lord] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor. 12:9-10 NIV).
The problem is that Paul was writing about weaknesses over which he himself had no power. Too often, it seems as if many of my personal weaknesses are those that I myself ought to be able to control and correct.
Confession time-I am going to admit to something that anyone who has ever worked with me has long recognized. One of my worst personal issues is that of procrastination. In fact, one of my session mates, then Cadet Rich Love, used to claim that while the rest of the session was appropriately named “Proclaimers of the Faith,” I was a “Procrastinator of the Faith.” I have had a lifelong addiction to putting things off to the last possible minute.
Defining my bad habit
“Addiction?” Isn’t that too strong a term for something that should be so readily correctible? I don’t think so. Consider some of the characteristics of addiction:
1. Failure to recognize the grip something has on you. I once participated in a weight loss clinic, where for the first time I realized what a terrible, frightening hold food could have on a person. I saw individuals whose addiction to food was so great that they suffered traumatic withdrawal symptoms when they tried to go on a liquid diet. They couldn’t sleep, they couldn’t function normally, their craving for food so dominated their every moment that the pain was evident in their tears and agonized tones.
2. The certainty that “I can stop (or change) any time I want to; I just don’t need to because I am in control.” Not just the cigarettes, or the alcohol, or the drugs, but other ordinary addictions that are seen in Christians as well as non-Christians reflect these attitudes. How often do we see people who claim the ability to control an uncontrollable temper, or seem determined to look on the dark side of everything, to such an extent that it affects not only their own ability to enjoy life, but also affects those around them? Destructive habits (whether or not one considers them to be addictions) can inflict mortal wounds, even though we may think of them simply as character flaws or weaknesses.
3. Fear: Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear that even God can’t handle an overpowering, perhaps lifelong, problem so seemingly intrinsic to one’s nature or temperament. Often seen in “passing the buck”¾trying to identify causes beyond one’s personal responsibility. Maybe the problem found its origin in society; maybe one can blame a family situation or a trauma in one’s personal history; maybe it is God’s fault for allowing it to become (or remain) a problem. Or maybe it is simply because I am a “bad person,” incapable of control, undeserving of better.
Overcoming weaknesses
I am not an expert on addictive behavior, and certainly there are many who could handle this subject better than I. There are whole libraries dedicated to the subject¾but let me speak to it as one whose consciousness has been newly awakened to its personal applications. There are innumerable situations that may be blamed for addictive behaviors. These may include a damaged self image, a feeling that “that’s what they expect of me,” or abuse. Strangely enough, it seems to me that sometimes addictive behavior (think “bad habits”) finds its beginnings in strengths as well as weaknesses. One finds a successful strategy for dealing with a situation, and begins to apply that strategy inappropriately, applying it to all situations, until the strategy is controlling the strategist, rather than the other way around. The one characteristic that I think probably applies in all addictions is loss of control, and the humiliation that brings. How we hope and pray that we will find in ourselves the strength to overcome our own weakness.
For some of us it is very difficult to have to admit, “I cannot do it.” How much we hate to admit that something we feel we ought to be able to control has control of us. But it happens. Addiction is not a thing that happens just to the worldly-minded, “those sinners out there.” Too often it is an unrecognized flaw existing in our own precious selves¾a thing we want to believe is simply a “weakness” that is a regrettable but intrinsic part of our character.
He [the Lord] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
A professional with years of experience in working with addictive behavior said, “If you feel you can’t really believe change is taking place, ACT AS IF! Take a step in faith, as if God has given you this gift, and you haven’t the right to renege on your part.”
I have found that I cannot seem to control my tendency to procrastinate¾in fact, I guess I must admit that I have never felt confident that even God could (or would) help with this particular weakness, so I have been leery of turning it over to him, for fear that my concern will be justified.
But then I heard-“Act as if.”
So, with God’s help, that is what I plan to do. Pray for me, that God will take control of this thing that I cannot¾and if there is a similar problem in your life, let me know, and I will gladly pray for you as well¾that God’s power might be made evident in our lives.
- Lt. Colonel Sharon M. Robertson serves as assistant to the Chief Secretary for the USA Western Territory.
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