by Jack Anderson I was just reading an article by an Australian journalist who was writing about his addiction to his Blackberry phone. He feels lost without it, doesn’t leave home without it and gets nervous unless he checks his messages every few minutes, which made me think of all the various ways that we as humans tend to get fixated on gadgets, objects or behaviors in some repetitive fashion. The original meaning of the term addiction had to do with “declaring a devotion” or attachment to something. It was not until the last century that the term was used in describing the habitual use of opium. In addition to the commonly used references to various chemical “devotions,” we find in our society a host of behaviors that resemble addiction. A partial list would include gambling, overeating, relationship addiction, pornography, web browsing, spending, watching television, workaholism, hoarding and striving for power. There are three things to note about this list. First, there is the aspect of compulsion to the behaviors. Compulsion has to do with the mysterious force that compels the individual to be drawn to behavior that is unhealthy or even destructive. And so we see compulsive shoppers going to the mall to buy things they don’t need and can’t afford. We see the overeater consuming more calories than what the body needs to stay healthy. It is the compelling need for fullness that creates the repetitive activity. If I only overeat once a year at the Thanksgiving table, it would not be a problem. But when I do it on a daily and weekly basis, it hurts me. Compulsion is not rational, and in fact can be considered to be emotional and sensual. It does not make any sense to clutter one’s house with useless trinkets and long forgotten papers and purchases. But the emotions, as if obeying a force of gravity, convince the individual’s mind that getting rid of stuff would be unbearable. The second thing I want to note about these behaviors is that they not only declare devotion, but they involve the notion of taking in. The gambler wants to take in the winnings and also the thrill of risking money on the inevitable losing strategies at the table. The overeater takes in food that is sometimes soothing but other times merely habitual. The pornography viewer takes in stimulating images from the video or computer screen, and the hoarder takes more goods into the house or more money into the bank account. The irony of taking in is that it always leads to a feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction. Legend has it that the oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller was once asked how much money would be enough for him, to which he replied, “just a little bit more.” We find this question being asked in Isaiah 55, where the prophet asks the key question, “Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread and your labor for that which does not satisfy?” Unhealthy devotion We might at this point ask ourselves, “Why do we get so devoted to such unhealthy, irrational behaviors?” It seems so natural, so common, so easy to be drawn into the gravitational force of these habitual behaviors. One answer to this question is that we have, by nature, insatiable desires. I worked with one overweight woman in therapy who confessed that she felt compelled to eat until she got sick. The football star that wins the Super Bowl is soon thinking about next season: two rings would be better than one. The successful business executive is strategizing about his next promotion and enviable success. This characteristic of our fallen human nature is also expressed in one of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) slogans, “One drink is too many; a thousand is not enough.” Once these unhealthy behaviors take hold, they can rule AND ruin one’s life. My daughter shared with me that she had a roommate in college who was very overweight. She was a severe diabetic, and had strict instructions from her doctor about the diet she needed to follow in order to control her blood sugar levels. On the surface, this young woman ate healthily and followed her diet. But in the confines of the dormitory setting, she had her stash of junk food in which she indulged on a regular basis. This led to several medical crises during the course of the year, and my daughter was dumbfounded by the power of addictive eating. Her roommate did not want to over eat, did not want her diabetes to worsen, yet felt trapped in the power and pull of compulsive eating. This example points out the third aspect of addictive behavior¾we become ashamed of who we are and what we do. One of the universal aspects of addiction, then, is shame and hiding. We do not want to admit to ourselves, yet alone others, that we are trapped in behavior that is dishonoring to the image of God in which we were created. In fact, this gets to the very core of the problem. In this sense, the external behaviors are only the symptom, not the disease. If the compulsive buyer stops watching the home shopping network, the behavior has ceased but the heart of the person is still the same: empty, unfulfilled, yearning for something. This, then, is one of the components of the human heart: we go through life looking for experiences to make us feel full, to make us feel whole. We sometimes choose behaviors that, in moderation, would be healthy and fulfilling. But often we resort to behaviors that distort and degrade our God-given needs. As just one example, God has created us as sexual beings, and wants us to delight in sexual fulfillment in the context of marriage. Pornography addiction distorts the otherwise healthy aspect of our being, exploits the models and providers of indecent material, and leaves the user ultimately frustrated, guilty and morally bankrupt. Finding fulfillment I believe that compulsions and addiction are in a sense a gift from God because they point us to the stark realization that we cannot find our true fulfillment in life without him. This is best stated by St. Augustine from the 5th century: “Thou hast created us for Thyself, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in Thee.” Addictive behavior is able to give a temporary reprieve from restlessness. This usually occurs at the initial outset of the behavior¾the gambler driving to the casino, the compulsive eater taking the first bite, the cocaine addict taking the first snort. The short-lived emotional experience reduces stress and anxiety and makes everything seem okay for a while. But it is followed by a serious backlash of emptiness. You might think of this as a period of withdrawal. Seek satisfying water The story of the woman at the well, found in John 4, is intriguing for many reasons. For our purposes here, we find that Jesus has an encounter with someone who has a problem with relationships and/or sexual addiction. We know this because Jesus uncovers the hidden, shameful truth about her life-— that she has had five husbands and is now living with yet another man. This is a woman who has been trying to quell her restlessness in life through relationships. Yet, it is obviously a futile attempt given her history of unsuccessful relationships. Jesus is able to discern the emptiness and despair within her and simply reveals to her the hurtful but truthful details of her life. We then notice that rather than being further shamed, she feels released from the power of compulsion. She seems to be rather excited as she goes back to her village to publicly exclaim that her cover had been blown. I believe that the water the woman initially set out to draw represents our compulsive tendencies to find rest, to be satiated, in a sense. But Jesus instructs her that the well water will give only a temporary relief. She has to keep coming back, over and over, compulsively, to quench her thirst. He further encourages her, saying, “Whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.” We find in this powerful story the first step in dealing with our compulsions and entrapping habits: facing the truth about ourselves. Only when we have the courage to do this can we find our true acceptance from the one who made us and knows our hearts. St. Augustine gives us further insight about the truth of our condition. He states, “Thou must be emptied of that wherewith thou art full, that thou mayest be filled with that whereof thou art empty.” I encourage you to do some reflection the next time you go to the well that does not quench your thirst, and to seek the water that truly satisfies. - Dr. Jack Anderson (Ph.D.) serves as a psychological consultant for The Salvation Army in the USA Western Territory. Printer version | Back to current index | Back to archive index